Intro:
When you’re dating someone with a high-profile background, you expect a certain level of sophistication and charm, right? Well, not always. Let me tell you about a recent encounter I had with a Japanese CEO who ticked all the boxes when it came to status and education, but left me questioning whether being a “high-spec” person really means they know how to have a meaningful conversation.
Who is this guy?
This guy was no average Joe. He comes from a top-tier Japanese university and graduated from an elite high school in Japan — a prestigious institution known for producing the country’s brightest minds. He went to the University of Tokyo (The “Harvard of Japan”), and his background at a renowned boys’ school like Nada High School, a school that’s often compared to Japan’s version of the Ivy League, set the bar high. Sounds impressive, right? Well, here’s where things get a little weird.
The First Meeting: A High-Spec Persona with a Lack of Social Skills
On paper, he was everything I had imagined: tall (176cm), slim (around 65-69kg), and sporting a clean-cut appearance that screamed “well put-together.” He had multiple businesses, worked as a system engineer for three companies, and was a CEO of a venture company based in Tokyo. On top of all that, he was earning around 1 to 1.1 million yen annually. That’s a lot of zeros, right?
But despite all the financial success and top-tier education, I couldn’t help but notice one thing: the complete lack of social skills. Imagine talking to someone who has all the right answers but doesn’t know how to ask a single question back. I was doing all the talking, trying to keep the conversation alive. And I wasn’t alone in feeling this—he was very aware of it. At one point, he said, “Am I doing all the talking here?” And I thought, “Well, yes! And you’re not asking anything in return!” It was like pulling teeth just to get him to show any interest in me.
What Went Wrong?
The more we talked, the more it became evident that despite his prestigious education, he just wasn’t the best conversationalist. I realized that even though he was high-spec, his personality didn’t quite match up to the hype. He couldn’t carry a conversation without me doing most of the work. And the worst part? When it came time to decide if we should meet again, he didn’t even bother to respond to my message. Instead, the system automatically marked our connection as “expired.” The polite thing would have been to at least give a clear “yes” or “no” within 24 hours, but he just ignored me. I found that pretty rude, especially from someone who was supposed to be a “high-society” professional.
Family Background and Personal Life
This guy also shared some pretty odd details about his personal life that didn’t quite add up. He told me that his family is scattered all over the world — his parents live in Vietnam, his grandparents raised him in Osaka, and he’s lived alone for most of his life. He mentioned that his parents had fled China during the Cultural Revolution, which sounds dramatic and a little intense, but it explained his somewhat detached, cold demeanor. His family seemed emotionally distant, and it struck me that this might have shaped the person he had become.
I get the sense that he’s from a “high-spec” family, but one that lacked the warmth and love you might expect from such a background. They’re the kind of people who are very successful, but emotionally cold. No wonder he struggles to relate to others.
The “High-Spec” Myth
When you date someone who seems to have it all—great education, financial success, good looks—you expect them to be emotionally intelligent, right? But sometimes, it’s not the case. This guy was a classic example of someone who’s high-spec on paper but emotionally unavailable. His lack of conversational skills and emotional detachment made the whole experience feel more like an interview than a date.
What I Learned:
In the end, my experience with this high-spec CEO from Japan taught me a valuable lesson. Success and status aren’t everything. Yes, he had the education, the career, and the credentials, but none of that mattered if he couldn’t hold a decent conversation. It also taught me that high-spec doesn’t necessarily mean high emotional intelligence. Sometimes, people who have it all on paper are emotionally unavailable, and it can be a huge turn-off.
If I had to sum up my experience in one sentence: Don’t be fooled by the high-spec façade—what really matters is how someone makes you feel in a conversation. That’s the real test of a person’s worth.
