Note: Based on my real-life experience in Japan’s marriage market. Some details have been changed for privacy reasons.
Hi, it’s Min.
Today I want to share one of the worst dates I’ve ever had — and trust me, in the world of Japanese matchmaking, that’s saying a lot.
This story is about the time I seriously considered marrying a guy for his money—
and how that idea completely blew up in my face.
The guy?
A late-20s Japanese landlord (annual income ~$26K)
✅ Living with his mom
✅ Pressuring any future wife to move in with mom
✅ Physically… very hard to accept
✅ Creepy eye-rolling habit
✅ Weird falsetto voice
✅ Fake Kansai (Osaka) accent though he wasn’t from there
And yes—he literally showed up like this on our first date.
Let me take you through it.
📋 On Paper: The Profile Looked Okay (Sort Of)
I met this guy through a Japanese marriage agency.
His profile looked… passable:
Landowner in a Tokyo suburb (family owns property)
Late 20s, university grad (Keio for college, Waseda for grad school)
Father: Kyoto University grad
Mother: From a wealthy land-owning family
Annual income: ~$26K (about 4 million yen) — not great, but okay for a landlord
Monthly domestic travel, yearly European trips
Comfortable with luxury hotels and fine dining
Claims to be “kind and responsible”
At first, I thought:
“I’m not crazy about the looks… but with property and family money, maybe this is a good match?”
Reality check: NO.
🚩 Red Flag #1: Mama’s Boy in a Two-Family House
The first dealbreaker came fast.
He lives with his mom — not in the typical “I live with parents because rent is high” way.
They had a newly built two-family house.
Two separate entrances, but shared hallway
He clearly stated: “After marriage, I expect my wife to move in here with us.”
Every conversation was peppered with “My mom says…” “My mom thinks…”
Full-on mama’s boy vibes.
Escape from the mom? Not an option.
🚩 Red Flag #2: Physical Appearance (No Sugarcoating Here)
Honestly, I could have tolerated the living situation if the guy had been even remotely attractive.
But here’s what I faced across the table:
👀 Face
Constantly rolling his eyes upwards → showing the whites of his eyes mid-sentence
Gave off major “possessed puppet” vibes
🎤 Voice
High-pitched falsetto on random words
“Yes↑↑↑ that’s right↑↑↑” — every time he spoke, I cringed
Not from Kansai (Osaka), but kept asking “Am I speaking with a Kansai accent?”
No, you’re not. But now I’m extremely uncomfortable.
🤰 Body
Huge, protruding belly → looked 7 months pregnant
Claimed he walked 30 minutes daily, but clearly no results
💇 Hair
Frizzy, unkempt hair — like he hadn’t been to a salon in ages
🖐️ Hands
Chubby, sausage-like fingers — looked painfully swollen
Tap-tap-tapping on his phone like a cartoon character
👓 Accessories
Glasses with foggy, scratched lenses — added to the creepy vibe
🙃 Behavior: Polite But… Off
To be fair, his manners were better than most guys I meet through matchmaking.
When ordering tea:
“Please go ahead and choose first. Take your time.”
“No rush, really. I have all the time in the world.”
He also thanked the server properly.
Financially, he seemed aware of risks:
When I said, “You need to be a little shrewd if you own property,” he agreed.
But… nothing could outweigh the physical and emotional red flags.
⚖️ My Personal Dilemma
At that point in my dating life, I was torn between two options:
1️⃣ Handsome but broke architect → likely to become a financial burden
2️⃣ Creepy landlord mama’s boy → financially stable, but would destroy my mental health
No one is perfect. But could I really picture myself having dinner with this guy every night?
The answer was clear: No.
✋ Other Small Red Flags
He insisted his future wife MUST move in with his mom.
He showed me his wallet — it was old and falling apart.
→ Either doesn’t care about appearances or is just plain sloppy.
When I asked about life decisions, he said:
“I always ask my mom’s opinion first.” → NOPE.
🏁 Final Conclusion
Ladies, here’s my takeaway:
👉 Money cannot fix basic compatibility issues.
👉 You should NEVER move in with your mother-in-law unless it’s absolutely your choice.
👉 No amount of polite manners can compensate for a man who literally shows the whites of his eyes mid-sentence and speaks in a weird falsetto voice.
👉 400K yen (~$26K) annual income is barely survivable in Tokyo, even with property.
When I imagined a future with him, I saw:
Daily life under his mom’s watchful eye
Zero emotional or physical attraction
Gradually losing my sanity
So I politely declined.
🚩 What This Taught Me
Japanese matchmaking is brutally practical.
The deeper you go, the more you realize:
“I can’t have it all — so what am I willing to sacrifice?”
For me, this date taught me:
👉 I will never sacrifice my mental health or personal freedom for money.
👉 Moving in with a mama’s boy is a guaranteed recipe for misery.
👉 No amount of income can cover up deep personal discomfort.
💬 For My Fellow Singles Out There
If you’re thinking:
“Maybe I should just settle and marry a rich guy even if I don’t like him.”
→ Please think twice.
There is a difference between realistic compromise and choosing a life you will hate.
Trust me: even in a culture that emphasizes marriage, it is better to wait than to dive into lifelong misery with a creepy, eye-rolling landlord and his ever-present mom.
That’s all for today!
If you enjoyed this story, stay tuned — I’ll be sharing more wild adventures from the world of Japanese marriage hunting soon.
✨Thanks for reading!✨
