If you’ve ever considered using a matchmaking service or a dating app, you’ve probably come across people listing some pretty high standards. “Looking for a bright and energetic woman.” “Must have a healthy lifestyle.” “I want a self-sufficient woman.” Sound familiar? But here’s the thing: often, these individuals are exactly the opposite of what they claim to be. Let’s dive into the realities of Japanese matchmaking and why seeking the “perfect” partner might be a huge mistake.
The Paradox of “Bright” and “Healthy”
It’s common to find profiles that say, “I want a cheerful and optimistic partner,” but when you meet these people in real life, they often come across as anything but cheerful. Maybe it’s because they’ve been spending too much time glued to their phones or bingeing fast food, claiming to live a “healthy” lifestyle while constantly ordering Uber Eats or hitting up cheap izakayas (Japanese pubs).
The same goes for the “self-sufficient” partner requirement. Men who say they want a “self-sufficient woman” often end up being total freeloaders themselves, expecting their partners to do everything from managing the finances to taking care of household chores.
The Hidden Truth About Japan’s Matchmaking System
In Japan, matchmaking services (called “omiai”) are often taken seriously, but they come with a set of expectations that might surprise you. Sure, they require proof of your single status (a “single certificate”), so there’s a sense of security in knowing that everyone is on the same page. However, what most people don’t tell you is that the matchmaking pool is filled with men who can’t even hold a decent conversation or who’ve never had a healthy relationship in their life.
How do they function in the workplace? How are they even managing to have any meaningful conversations with anyone at all?
It gets worse. If you’re seeking a “perfect” match — say, a high-income, tall, and handsome guy — well, the chances of finding him in a Japanese matchmaking service are slim. Why? Because such men have incredibly high standards for their partners too. The reality is, you won’t be able to find a true “prince charming” without a long list of sacrifices on your part.
A Harsh Reality: The “Good Enough” Match
Let’s talk about something else: if you’re a woman with realistic expectations who’s just looking for a decent, stable partner, a matchmaking service might not be your best bet. But don’t panic just yet — there’s hope! If you don’t mind settling for someone who’s not a supermodel and isn’t swimming in cash, a matchmaking service might still work for you.
For example, imagine meeting a guy who’s kind, a little on the chubby side, and works a regular office job. Is he your “dream guy”? Probably not. But can he provide a steady income and support you emotionally? Most likely. The key here is to stop chasing perfection and focus on finding a partner who aligns with your core values. You might not be able to find the “perfect” match, but someone who’s “good enough” and shares your life goals could be a far better choice in the long run.
Where to Find “Mr. Right”?
So where do you go if you want to avoid the high expectations and the long list of demands that come with traditional matchmaking? Consider using different platforms — like speed dating events, casual meet-ups, or even dating apps that allow for more flexibility and less pressure. These spaces often allow for a more relaxed and organic way to meet people without the baggage of unrealistic expectations.
While matchmaking services are perfect for people looking for something very specific, they often work best for individuals who are already established in their careers and are serious about marriage. For those of us who aren’t looking for a “trophy husband” or someone with the perfect family background, other social avenues might give you a much better shot at finding a partner.
The Bottom Line: Don’t Let Perfection Hold You Back
At the end of the day, it’s essential to recognize that everyone has flaws. If you’re constantly looking for the perfect partner — the one who meets every checkbox on your list — you might end up missing out on someone who could be perfect for you in other ways.
Japanese matchmaking services might work for those who have high standards and are willing to settle for someone with an equally perfect background. However, for most of us, it’s about finding someone who can communicate, share similar values, and build a stable life together — not just someone who looks good on paper.
The key to a successful relationship, regardless of how you meet someone, is knowing that nobody is perfect. So stop looking for perfection, and focus on finding a partner who fits your real needs.
